I love the French Revolution. Now before you decide that I'm tres bizarre and fantasise about beheadings over a plate of snails, hear me out. I have listed a few of my favourite things about this outrageously awesome time in history that will hopefully change your mind.
Sex.
Ah ha, now I've got you captivated! But I kid you not, it seems as though the famine, riots and massacres of the time were a massive turn-on for the general French citizen. The phenomena of 'political pornography' was rife, which included illustrations of King Louis riding a phallic ostrich, and Queen Marie Antoinette engaging in rather erotic lesbian activities. The heniously ugly Comte de Mirabeau was known as quite the stud, seducing many women for their money, including his sister. Whilst in jail, he penned the obscene 'Erotica Biblia', a fiction based on sexually frustrated nuns. And finally, something I personally find both disturbing and interesting; on the King and Queens' wedding night, the couple aged fifteen and fourteen were encouraged to have sex by onlookers in their bedroom. They didn't, but still.
The clothes.
Call me vain, whatever. But the I find fact that the French were still concerned about being 'a la mode' during one of the bloodiest revolutions in history rather intriguing. As if for some kind of morbid statement, men began wearing their shirt collars extremely high, suggesting that they were hiding scars inflicted by the guillotine. Women wore a thin scarlet ribbon around their neck for similar reasons. Even a revolutionary group gained their namesake from their trousers (or lack thereof), deeming themselves the 'sans culottes'. (This lead me to imagining Australian political parties naming themselves things like 'the Beige Pants' which would be kind of funny). Also, there were hipsters like Robespierre (who I may have a slight crush on) who wore John Lennon glasses on his head.
The language.
Damn those French could drop an f-bomb or two. I'll let them speak for themselves (but mind my French ;)):
“Tell your fucking president that he can fuck himself and the entire fucking Convention. If the 22 [Girondins] are not here within the hour, we will blow the building to the ground.”Francois Hanriot, National Guard officer
“Robespierre simply can’t fuck and money scares the hide off him.”
Georges Danton
“The more I see of men, the more I like dogs.”
Madame Roland
“I don’t give a fuck for the prisoners, let them fend for themselves.”
Attributed to Georges Danton in September 1792
I think you get the picture.
As far as entertainment value goes, I give the French Revolution 4/5.
Vive la revolution!
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