Onesies

Synthetic, sweaty, hairy suit

Crocodile, crayon, bear or fruit

Grown adults dressing like their kids

What next, blokes eating steak in bibs?

And of course, all made in China

The quality couldn't be much finer

I'd rather wear a suit of turd

Than be seen clad as an angry bird

Onesies- onesie/5

Hockey

Hockey, you are the ultimate proof that love hurts.

Black eye? Check.

Fist-sized bruises? Check.

Some crazy elbow injury that has made my arm tingle continuously for the past ten hours? Check.

Hockey, I think it's fair to say that our relationship has been of quite the violent type thus far. Don't deny it; everyone's seen the telltale bruises.

But oh, how I love you. The adrenaline, the fire, the irresistible lure of danger, the chance to look death in the eye (ok, not quite) all keep me coming back for more.

Actually, I'd say 'passionate' would be a good substitute for 'violent'.

Hockey: 4.5/5 - there's a fiine, fiine line between pleasure and pain!

Sorry.

My sister

Tessa Ellen what can I say,

You're the kind of sister 

who would blow out the candles 

On my birthday

You're the kind of sister

That would fart in the car

Or take a mediocre joke

Just a bit too far

But enough with the chaste

You can be kinda rad-

Like nailing the comebacks

When Dad's being Dad

Like watching Rage with me

'til all hours of the night

Or making me think that

My cooking's outta sight

You've taught me a lot

More than I'd like to admit

Love you forever

But remember your collection of snot?

My sister- 5/5 (anything less and I'd be in trouble) 

xx